A beep came from Greg’s suit pocket. He reached in and pulled out his Blackberry and frowned at the screen. His conference call with his new client started five minutes ago.
“Damn,” he muttered as he clipped his Bluetooth headset to his ear and keyed the speed-dial for his conference bridge. The old man hated to wait.
He beeped into the bridge. “Good morning, this is Greg. Who all’s here?”
“It’s about time,” the voice shoveled a load of gravel through the phone line.
“Mr. Harver, thank you for taking some of your valuable time to join our call this morning,” Greg tried the ass-kissing approach.
“Cut the crap, Simon.” So much for the ass-kissing approach. “This proposal you sent last night won’t work. I want to hear the first one again. What was it, some kind of fruit?”
“A topical lotion.”
“Yeah, that’s it. The tropical thing.” Mr. Harver got excited.
“It’s a topical- never mind. Ok. Project Fruit. Let’s start from the beginning,” Greg said. He loved to recap things during billable hours. There was a lot of money to be made needlessly discussing the past.
“The problem you are facing is that your drugs really work. They cure people.” He waited for this to sink in. “This is unheard of in the pharmaceutical market. There is no recurring revenue in this business model. To make matters worse, the government just imposed a maximum price per pill, so price-gouging is out. You need a new plan for business development. And that’s why you hired Simon Says! for your consulting.” Greg paused for a second. Damn am I good!, he thought.
A voice beeped into the conference cell. “Sorry, I got disconnected. It’s me again.” Mr. Harver said. “What were you saying?"
“You need to make a drug that gets people sick, but only when they stop taking it.”
--Rick Daley
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6 comments:
Oh, wow, Rick. I think this guy may be even scarier than Chris's blueberry pie lady.
shovel gravel down the phone line- liked that line.
Both funny and disturbing; I like it. I'm a bit puzzled by 'his new client" when later it sounds as though he knows 'the old man'. Or are they two separate parties?
Joanna,
The client is the old man. He's a new client, but Greg has known him for a long time.
This is an excerpt from my WIP EARTH'S END. God decided he wants to end the world but can't decide how to do it, so he comes down to earth and hires a consultant.
Greg is the lucky consultant. He has a lot to worry about, though. Satan is angry because he has contracts out for the souls of 490 million people, but those contracts are void if the world ends (force majeure clause, you see). He hijacks Project Fruit in an attempt to kill off as many people as he can.
This reminds of of "Thank You For Smoking" ... The world of advertising and marketing turned upside down.
BTW, the paragraph starting with "The problem you are facing is that your drugs really work." doesn't scan like a rant from an angry boss to me. But that might be me. I used to make bosses foam at the mouth with the little brickbats I used to throw at them. I was naughty.
Dave...That paragraph is dialogue from Greg the consultant talking to his client (Mr. Harver), explaining the issues with his business model.
I wasn't clear whether the old man was Greg or the client.
The topical / tropical / Project Fruit process made me laugh - great insight into the characters.
The premise is intriguing; I'd definitely keep reading.
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