Around siesta time in the floating harbor off San Diego, Estralita DellaGuardia, dressed fashionably in white blouse and slacks, walked up on a pair of muscular legs in blue jeans sticking out of the hold of her runabout RANA. At first, the legs reminded her of mawkish parody of dying bug but then she didn't recall Poppie telling her anything was out of order with the electric motors and charging systems. She drew her pistol halfway before recognizing the broad shoulders and tribal tattoos snaking up the man's muscular back. She giggled, nymph-like, loud enough for him to hear and feigned distress.
"Oooh a thief, a scoundrel, a bad man is vandalizing my launch, help, help," He set a screwdriver on the deck and closed the cover on the electric box.
"Big Es? Estralita?"
"One wrong move and I shoot your cojones into tomorrow," Estralita barked like a drill sergeant.
"You wouldn't shoot the cojones off the man you used to play with in the big hot-tub? The man you once pledged to marry and swore to secrecy in the attic of your house." He slid his body back, turned and stood a head taller than Estralita.
"Why if it isn't little Tony Tonero all grown up," she squealed, bouncing like a little girl meeting a rock star, her breasts akimbo, her eyes admiring the thick nipple ring in his chest that matched tribal tattoos. He bowed, flourishing the grease rag. She reached out to hug but grease on his hands and forearms forced air-kisses. The muscles of his chest and arms rippled as he wiped his hands.
"The one, the only at your service. And may I say, you are the prettiest Big Es in harbor." Estralita blushed and demurred coquettishly, breasts jiggling, hips swaying.
--Dave F.
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6 comments:
At first glance, I thought Es was walking on the muscular legs because they were hers, not walking up TO the muscular legs.
Once I figured that out, I liked it a lot more.
Wow. Lots of giggling and jiggling. Had the same problem as Rachel, FWIW. Stumbled over the "forced air kisses," but this is probably just me.
What a scary pair.
This is a subsequent chapter to New Beginning 695 --- "What we have here is paradise... not lost but regained."
And these two are childhood sweethearts gone astray and being now tied together in an arranged marriage. Papacito DellaGuardia wants a grandchild.
I'm with Rachel, the first sentence threw me. Now that I read it back I see that you established her attire as blouse and slacks.
I think you should separate this action from the dialogue, It's Es talking, and then Tony's actions, right?
"Oooh a thief, a scoundrel, a bad man is vandalizing my launch, help, help," He set a screwdriver on the deck and closed the cover on the electric box.
Idea for fun double-entendre: change "shoot your cahones" to "blow your cahones..."
Thanks. I've been rearranging the order of that particular line of hers and his subsequent reaction for a month.
And I like the double entendre with "blow."
What happens next is that they reminisce about old times. They were teen lovers but went separate ways. Tony reveals that her father is forcing her to marry him in to get an heir. Just about the time they are ready to rip each other's clothes off, pirates appear.
I know, I know, that sounds awfully like Romeo and Ethel the Pirate's Daughter with a dancing dog. It's a WIP.
I've already fixed Rachel's comment. (Thanks!)
I read this as Estralita walked up on (her) pair of muscular legs and then had to backtrack to work out she's walking up on a guy.
I was a little bit confused by the second paragraph - the voice is hers but the action is his. I think you need the second sentence to move to the third paragraph (keeping his speech with his action).
I think I understand correctly that she recognised him and then pretended that she didn't, right?
She jiggles so much, I'm sure they must be fake. ;)
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