As they approached, moving like two racewalkers in a crowded race where the starting gun has just gone off and the front racers are racewalking their way down the street but the racers at the back where these two are still can't do more than shuffle along, the huge body, looking very much like a beached whale that had evolved for a few hundred million years and now sported fur, four legs and horns, resolved itself into one of the wooly rhinos. The rhinos hadn’t looked too healthy to begin with, Donna remembered, sort of like a herd of cattle after a long night of cow tipping. And the wildfire that had burned across the praire in precisely the same way a large, out-of-control fire burns across a large plain of grassland almost certainly contributed to this one’s death in precisely the same way a tipped-over cow hadn't.
--Phoenix
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7 comments:
LOL
OMG That was well done. There was so much bad analogy that I have no idea what happened.
AHAHAAHH! Hysterical!!!!
The original sentences were the following, yes?
As they approached, the huge body resolved itself into one of the wooly rhinos. The rhinos hadn’t looked too healthy to begin with, Donna remembered. And the wildfire that had burned across the prairie almost certainly contributed to this one’s death.
Most impressive destruction of clear prose.
Cow Tipping... That demonstrates the Susie Creamcheese principle of the pushover -- if you push hard enough, it will fall over.
No one should tip cows because they then fart out of fear and cause global warming.
This is so bad and so good al at once.
Bingo, Paca ;o) And, erm, thanks?
...moving like two racewalkers in a crowded race where the starting gun has just gone off and the front racers are racewalking their way down the street but the racers at the back where these two are still can't do more than shuffle along...
HA! I can hear this being spoken by a narrator 'talkin' fast and chewin' gum' - which is why I love it.
My eyes!
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