I'm back. How'd it go?
No huge drop-off in readers?
Hope not. I haven't been looking at the stats.
Hmm. I'd better check the hits. Let's see, yesterday we had . . . ZERO!?
Hey, it was Saturday. People have better things to do.
Friday . . . zero. Thursday . . . Zero. What's going on? Did you post the cartoons I left you?
Yes. Well, sort of. I changed the captions. I didn't get yours. Actually, I seldom get yours. Here's one with my caption: whattaya think?
What's the joke?
It's a squirrel wearing glasses!
Christ. Did you do any Face-Lifts or New Beginnings?
Nah, there are hundreds of those already. I started some new features.
Mondays we do foreign language cryptograms. Tuesday is rejection letters for credit card application junk mail. Wednesdays we post one of my trunk novels for the minions to proofread. Thursday we auction off one of your most valuable possessions.
That would explain why my desk is missing, I take it?
And Friday some guy from Uruguay takes over the blog with a column he calls "Rants from Javier." It's pretty funny. Well, not funny, but you get the idea.
And on the weekend?
You have the weekend off. No films, no writing exercises.
I like it. Say, how would you like to be my permanent blog consultant. I can only offer you low six figures.