Sunday, March 21, 2010

Tax Time 4

EE cleared his throat. “I did as you asked…kept every receipt.”

Ray Freemont, CPA grunted and then pulled out a #2 pencil and began sharpening it. Ray wasn’t the least bit happy about EE staying on as a client. Last year, he swore would be the last time he’d do the ogre’s taxes and yet somehow…EE was here again.

EE pushed the first set of receipts to Ray, forcefully. “Here are the ones I believe will garnish the most return.”

Ray scoped the first yellow slip, and then squawked, “A trip to Aruba? Hah…Did you attend a conference?”

“No.”

“A business meeting?” Ray pried.

“No.”

“Then why the hell are you trying to use it as a write off?”

“That’s for you to figure out.” EE answered dryly.

Ray whined, “These are flagrant lies. You’ll be audited.”

“Audited?....” EE gasped.

“To be sure…I can promise you that.”

“Does that mean you can’t use my pool addition as a legitimate business expense?”

“Do you use your pool for business?”

“Yes. It’s where I conduct my blog’s book chats.”

“Is that a fact?”

EE nodded emphatically.

“Well then…it might be plausible.”

“Great.”

“And what’s this charity deduction you’ve mention…your blog?

“Yes. I’ve been doing some research. This past year I made my Evil Editor blog a 501 c3. It’s quite ingenious. I mean technically it is charity…the work and advice I give to those wannabes. I, by all means, don’t charge. And god knows the only real value I’ve obtained is my notoriety. You agree?”

“You’re talking about a charitable foundation?” Ray asked.

“Yes.”

“An evil one?”

“Why yes…I do believe it is…”

Ray gave a nod. “It just might work…and with no audit’s too. Why the devil didn’t you tell me you were doing charity work?”

“You forgot…I work in publishing.”

--Mina B.

1 comment:

Dave F. said...

“You forgot…I work in publishing.”

That's cruel, deliciously cruel. Like poisoned apple cruel and coats of Dalmatian fur cruel.