We are gathered here today to reflect on, and celebrate, the life of... a man who needs no introduction from me.
Born... not far from here (at least in astronomical terms), he grew up in... roughly the same place... and built a successful career doing... whatever the hell he did... editing, I guess. He was celebrated and beloved in... the community of which he was part, and everyone respected his... many sterling qualities, which are so well known that I don't need to expand on them here.
How many times did his friends and his neighbours see his familiar form, going about his daily... business, and feel cheered by the simple knowledge of his presence? (Seriously, how many times? Because I don't know. Lots, I hope.)
He is survived by his widow... umm... Mrs. Editor... and... at least one son, Evil Jr., and maybe others as well... our hearts go out to them in this time of (very probably) sadness. We know that, by many people's standards, he was taken from us too young, even though, by other people's, he died in the fullness of his years.
He was revered in his field, of course, having worked with so many famous authors, such as... people whose names are well-known to us all. And, in his capacity as an anonymous person on the Internet, he was an inexhaustible fount of advice and inspiration to other anonymous people on the Internet.
So, I'd like us all to bow our heads, now, and reflect on the memory of... whatever his name was anyway. Amen.