Sunday, May 30, 2010

SuessStory 8

In Publishing Town,
Far down in its bowels,
Lived a muttonchopped man
With quivery jowls.

Every day, minions--
A hundred or more--
Surged to his office
And squeezed through the door.

They ogled and boggled
In mute adoration
Amazed at his pince-nez,
His fob, his vocation.

They said, "One day we'll
"Work in Publishing too!"
But they only had queries.
Not one had a clue.

One morning, a minion,
With query in hand,
Dared lay it before
The muttonchopped man.

The muttonchopped man
With quivery jowl
Looked down through his pince-nez
And started to howl.

"It's awful!" he hollered.
"The plot is pathetic!
"The setting is stupid!
"The ending's emetic!

"This query's a fungus.
"It's covered in slop.
"You want to keep writing?
"I beg you to stop."

"But sir," said the minion,
All trembling and weak,
"What if I edit it more--
"So to speak?

"Some of the others
"Are ever so wise--"
He looked at the cluster
Of ladies and guys--

"Couldn't we all take
"My slop-covered fungus
"And churn out just one
"Decent query among us?"

"Do what you want,"
Said the muttonchopped man.
"I'm going to take pictures
"Of me on the can."

With the man on the can
Minions all gathered round
And they rolled up their sleeves
There in Publishing Town

And they beat up that query!
They gave it the works!
They pounded its problems!
They questioned its quirks!

They gutted its grammar!
And when they were done
That terrible query
Shone like the sun.

He came out of the john.
The minions were leery.
He put down his camera
And picked up the query.

He peered through his pince-nez.
He saw what they had.
His jowls quivered gently.
"You know, this ain't bad."

The minions all cheered!
They whooped and went wild!
Even the muttonchopped man
Might have smiled.

The minion strode off
To querying glory
But did his book sell?

...that's some other story.



Angie said...

so true, so true...

Jeb said...


John said...

I love this one.

Anonymous said...

This is amazing!

Christine Mattice said...

I almost thought that I was reading Suess. I love it. great job.