"I'm so glad you agreed to go out with me," I said.
"Yeah, well, I'm just doing this to piss off my boyfriend for canceling our date just because his mother died," she replied.
"I like a woman who's narcissistic, superficial, and vindictive," I told her, gambling she didn't know the meaning of any of the words.
"Thank you," she said. "So, what do you do for a living?"
"I'm a body washer," I answered.
"I hope you don't mean you work at a car wash."
"No, no, you know how when a person gets murdered their bowel muscles release? The cops don't want to clean that up, so they call me in."
"I'm not sure I follow..."
"Basically, I undress corpses and hang them in this room I built in my basement and hose them down. Then I dry them off and drive them to the medical examiner for autopsy."
"You do this in your home?"
"It's a home-based business for now," I said, "but I'm looking into moving it to the mall."
"Listen, I just remembered there's a Petticoat Junction marathon on TV Land tonight." She left before I could give her a coupon.
Oh well, I thought, she lasted longer than they do when I admit I'm an editor.