Choose one (but not your own) of the opening sentences below as your first line, and write a scene of no more than 250 words. deadline: Sunday at 10 AM eastern. Preferably, but not necessarily, your scene will be amusing and feature Evil Editor.
Opening lines were contributed by the minions. I didn't include all of them below. Sorry if I didn't use yours.
Opening Lines (Those with asterisks have already been used, so if you want to be the first to use one, choose a different one):
*In the twenty-third year of her reign, the queen took to wearing ballet shoes and reading Shakespeare.
Evil Editor: trust him, love him, feel him up in an elevator, but don’t ever send him your manuscript.
"I warned you boy's not to drink old man dickface's moonshine but you boys could never listen to what your elders tell ya."
I was online, trying, although not very hard, to pay attention to the graduate professor, but that wasn’t working out well because I was really reading EE's blog.
A witch sits in a glittering green Duesenberg, her jewels sparkling in the blue-white glare of streetlights while a girl selling green apples from a pushcart watches.
*Ever watch both your parents being lowered into their graves and not cried?
After I'd had to kill my father, they said it was probably the brain tumor he had that made him try to kill me.
*"No thank you, I've already had too much to drink and any more and I'll just become a nymphomaniac."
*"The will, quite deliberately, leaves you nothing."
Answering your cell phone is one thing; having your thoughts sucked from your skull by a wyvern priestess is quite another, especially for a genetically reconstituted Tudor nobleman.
*His considerable girth hung over a straining belt, his eyes were blood-shot, or seemed to be, but it was the prominent, (and somewhat bizarre), facial hair which I fixated on.
*Ducks don't do that — but this one did.
"Take another look," Joe said to the petrified clerk, "and if you don't find it this time, think twice about coming back."
*Wives were more difficult than husbands, so Ernest put on his best solemn face, coughed, and said, "Of course the bronze lid is an option."
*He was a vampire, I was naked, and it was Christmas.
*Looking back it seems like it happened to someone else, but it didn’t; it happened to me and what really pissed me off was that it didn’t even have a good ending like these type of stories are suppose to have.
*A fat cherub stood pissing into the bowl; he had lost his wings but still had his head and that was more than I could say about me.
*Deep in Thruuum-Graar-Graar, by the mighty river Gruum-Thraar-Thraaaar, unicorn nobles crossed horns, satyr captains knocked hooves.
*Timmy's breakfast consisted of two burned muffins, a raw egg, his Auntie Ena--dug from her grave--and half a grapefruit.
*'Elvis's penis?' cried the time traveling cyber-cop.
*Joe leaned forward, shoved his soggy fish sandwich under Rob's nose and asked, "Does this smell funny to you?"
The time had come to deal with the rat's tangle her life had become but first Grace had to get on the damn plane and that was scarier than the wreck she faced thousand of air miles away.
Marie had one goal in life: to find the lawyer that lost her father's case, grind his bones to dust, and sell the dust as a holy relic.