"OK, so, dude, I'm like scanning ports and I find a backdoor to a 'nix box at Sony, so I like SSH into it and they left their SAN wide open and right there's the VOBs of the new Spiderman film, Iron Man III, Shrek 5, no shit, so I FTP 'em to a zombie account and seed it to a torrent feed. Within a couple hours they're down on my box and I'm pumping out DVD9s like they're going out of fashion. I Puts 'em up on Craigs and eBay for three dollars, I'm up fifteen hundred already and--"
"Whoa there. Wrong kind of pirate."
"I'll take one of each."