Tiki Bob preferred to work alone.
Perhaps “preferred” was too mild a word. He insisted.
Which was why, when Kandy Kane’s mutilated body was found under a massive pile of sawdust in the backyard where he created his masterpieces, Bob was the obvious suspect and arrested on the spot.
The usual Tuesday night crowd at the Main Street Wine Bar was outraged.
“It’s impossible!” declared one patron. “He loved the heck out of that girl. Everyone knows that.”
“Bob wouldn’t hurt a fly,” said another. “I say that because I’ve actually seen him catch a fly in his house and take it outside to release it. You’d never guess it from looking at the man, but he’s sure got quick hands.”
Even mild-mannered former judge James Cartwright had a few choice words to say. “The cop’s are friggin’ idiots on this one. If I were still on the bench and this case came up in front of me, I’d give ‘em a tongue lashing that’d sting their rear ends for months! And that idiot D.A. for even allowing it!”
I sat on a wine barrel bar stool, dangling my short legs, sipping a Fresita and listening to the chatter.
That's when Tiki Bob walked in. "I wanna thank all you boozers," he said as he made the rounds shaking everyone's hand. "Between you guys and my Twitter followers, there was so much support for me, the cops let me go. They picked up a homeless guy instead."
We all applauded as Bob left the bar. It was then that a bunch of us noticed we were missing our wallets. Yep, Bob's still got them quick hands.